The soothing chirp of a room full of pagers

Tomorrow night will not be a good night to have a computer or network problem in the Pittsburgh area, as it’s the first Thursday of an even-numbered month, which means it’s Geek Night. The Church Brew Works will be overrun by application developers, network administrators, tech support staffers, and the recruiters who love them.

I love Geek Night and haven’t been able to attend in months, not since it was held at the now-defunct Valhalla. I love the Church Brew Works too, and I note among their seasonal beer offerings the yummy-sounding Burly Friar Barleywine. Mmmm. So I’ve been planning all week to go.

Sadly for me, Todd the Tile Guy needs to stop by my house tomorrow around 6:30 to take final measurements before ordering stuff for my bathroom renovation … so I’ll have to hustle to get down to Pgh while there’s still a crowd. So, if you find yourself there, do hang out for a while and stake out a barstool for me.

Eight is my favorite number

Please go enjoy Crazy Arms That Long to Strangle by Rennie Sparks:

The octopus may also wave its arms in rhythmic patterns that attract and immobilize fish. Fishermen off the coast of Washington report seeing hundreds of small fish frozen in the water as if hypnotized by a passing giant Pacific octopus. One fisherman said, “I felt it myself. They had to tie me to the mast to keep me from throwing myself overboard.”

Related:

At the Montery Bay Aquarium a few years ago, I saw video, taken by a security camera at night. The video showed a small octopus climbing out its tank, going into another tank to get food, then returning to its tank so the keepers wouldn’t know it had left. Until the camera was set up the keepers couldn’t figure out how random fish were disappearing. Now, they’ve installed Astroturf on the sides of the tank, because the octopus can’t get a grip on it to climb out.

The Cidri Octopus seems like an interesting role-playing game character.

Uglydolls redux

Several recent visitors found this site by searching for “uglydolls” on Google. I mentioned some time back that I’m impressed with how the creators of Uglydolls developed a following and built the brand through nonstandard methods and good image management. Other than that, this site hasn’t been much of a resource on the subject.

So let’s correct that. Here’s a pic of an actual Uglydoll: Ice Bat. I ordered him the day I learned about Uglydolls, and he arrived a few days later in a strangely large cardboard box. I keep him on my bed. He’s terrific: cuddly and sweet and at the same time just a bit creepy. Kind of like a Tim Burton animation. Well, less creepy than that, but just as charming. I highly recommend getting one for yourself or for an unconventional child you love.

(I see that in June/July there will also be vinyl Uglydoll figures, for those who like the look but aren’t into the cuddling bit.)

Click the link below for a long and self-indulgent sidebar re: the photo above.

Continue reading

Now I’m wishing I was sitting at a cafe on the Rive Gauche

I missed this pointless Hemingway diversion yesterday.

I travelled to Europe with my sister Laura a few weeks after I graduated college. I wouldn’t have gone but for her: She wanted to travel but our parents wouldn’t let her go alone, so she talked/bullied me into it. It was a great trip, but she and I fought a lot of the time, about everything. When to eat, where to eat, what to eat, where to stay, whether to go to a museum or sit in a cafe, what city to visit next, and on and on.

In Paris, I remember looking through the guidebook to find a cafe that Hemingway had frequented and insisting that we visit it. Laura dropped me there and went off to visit a museum or something, some activity I wasn’t interested in, with the plan we’d meet up later. The cafe was too touristy and nasty, but I sat there and tried to feel some sort of communion with Hemingway and Paris. I may have pretended to myself that I did feel it.

Recently, Laura told me that if we were to take the same trip again, it would be different. She now loves cafes and sitting for hours to take in the scene. And if we were to take another trip, I would skip the guidebook and rely on her sense of good places to hang out, which she has honed through years of foreign travel. But I’d still like to go back to that cafe, if I could find it again, and try to discover with my current mind what I thought I was doing there then.

How the other half lives

I’ve mentioned before that I could well have been the bride of a software mogul. Now we are treated to a view of what my average day would have been like. I have not read the entire article yet — I find myself gagging every few sentences, and this slows my reading speed — but I would like to point out a few passages:

9:30 a.m. We get into her silver, two-seat Mercedes SL55 AMG. “I had a Jaguar, and then a Maserati, but Larry wanted me to have this car because of the airbags,” she says. There are no vanity plates, for security reasons. We head a mile north to the couple’s Japanese-style home in Atherton filled with antique Japanese helmets, folding screens and sculpture. This home is not to be confused with Ellison’s six-building Japanese compound that has been under construction for 10 years in Woodside.

Craft did not get a chance to eat at the tea, so she has lunch here, sitting on the floor on a low-slung table in front of the fireplace in the living room. “Life with Larry is rigorous,” she jokes. “You have to sit on the floor and have good posture.” She usually has turkey, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on Alvarado Bakery sprouted grain bread, but today, she says, she is being spoiled.

The study also has French doors that look out onto the gardens, at the edge of which Ellison has planted a row of bamboo to hide her British garden from view at the main house, where everything is all Japanese, all the time. That is OK with Craft, who is content to have her refuge, even if it’s blocked from sight.

“I let him do his thing,” she says. “I really wouldn’t want him messing with my books, my characters. This (compound) is his creative project. It’s beautiful. It’s not what I’d have built for myself, but it doesn’t mean I won’t love living there.”

A flock of wood ducks has taken up residence in the pond. A hundred or more cherry blossom trees, not yet in bloom, dot the landscape. The effect is like a resort, or a theme park of sorts, without any rides. Actually, they do have a boat with an electric motor that they take in the pond. They like to stop under the bridges, where Ellison sings. His favorites are show tunes, especially selections from “Aspects of Love” (a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber) and “Chess,” (a musical by ABBA members Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus, with lyrics by Tim Rice). Ellison and Craft are scheduled to meet Tim Rice in Los Angeles for brunch a few days after this interview to discuss a remake of “Chess,” she says.

Gak.

(Link via Stephany A. at Maud N.)

Print on demand versus self-publishing

Continuing the topic of the previous post: Stephany Aulenback received an email from a bookseller who explains some issues with print-on-demand. You can read the full text there, and if you’ve an interest in books and publishing you should, because it’s a well-written and interesting letter.

But I’d like to focus on one aspect, which is that print-on-demand is frequently conflated with self-publishing. When in fact they’re not the same thing at all.

POD means printing small quantities of a book in a cost-effective manner (but also one hopes in a high-enough quality manner that the book is pleasant to read). Self-publishing means publishing your own book, in either large or small quantities.

I think both are great things, and I believe they are mingled together in many minds because POD make self-publishing affordable to a normal person. But a small or even large publisher might want to take advantage of POD for a book that is predicted to have a small audience, or a very specific type of market, or for which the roll out has to be long and gradual, a building type of awareness among the readers.

POD is perfect for certain books for all those reasons, and has nothing to do with the book being filtered by editors — I’m referencing the quote in the letter linked above that “the LA Times is refusing to read pods on the basis that they’ve gone through no editorial filtering,” which seems a poor policy on the LA Times’s part.

So the irony is that POD could be a great boon to publishing, which is looking for ways around the economics of large-scale publishing (which require a book to sell so many, many copies to be profitable, and few books will ever sell that way); and yet publishing frowns on POD because it wrongly thinks it’s only for vanity publishing.

Friday morning mini-rant: the state of publishing

Stephany Aulenback wonders when electronic books and print-on-demand will come into their own.

I think e-books are waiting for the right delivery mechanism, devices that are easier to read from than the tiny screens on PDAs.

But I don’t see any such holdup for print on demand — the hurdles seem to be in people, in old mindsets and inertia. It’s crazy that a finished book takes so long to hit the shelves, that print runs must be so large, that an author can earn just 70 cents per copy sold. It’s too broken a business model to sustain itself much longer.

Juicy

The launch of my new venture has taken most of my time lately. It is Fat Plum:
Fat Plum: Juicy solutions for today's writer
We’re beginning by offering workshops, private consultations on writing and publishing, manuscript reviews and edits, and so on. Soon we’ll expand into writer-focused products. And then we’ll start publishing books and other cool stuff.

We have very grand plans, although perhaps they aren’t clear from that simple list of current and future projects. But truly they are grand, and I’m extremely excited about it all.

Swank Swink

The first issue of Swink arrived in my mailbox today, apparently ahead of the issue’s debut in bookstores. Coincidentally, the mag is also featured in today’s PW Newsline (a daily email from Publisher’s Weekly) under the topic “The New New Literary Magazine.” Founder Leelila Strogov is quoted describing the intended readership:

“There are many magazines who are doing things right,” she says. “I don’t think they’re always getting into the right hands.” The audience here, she says, is kind of literary-commercial. “It’s Granta and but also The New Yorker,” she said. “We want a literary audience that crosses over into real-live people.”

(Steven Zeitchik wrote the PW Newsline entry.)

Here’s my first impression of the first Swink: Looks artsy, with its funky color illustration on the front and its unconventional size (7 in x 10 in). Similar to late-model McSweeney’s in its use of the paperback format and heavy reliance on all caps and the list of authors on the back. But then it also has a less affected|art school feel than McSweeney’s. The design is a little more mass market, friendlier, more pick-up-able.

Looking at it close up, I think I recognize the dot over the ‘i’ in the logo as being from the Microsoft Design Gallery (from whence I procured the splat used on the Inkburns mug and t-shirt as well, by the by).

Because of the bigger format, the magazine is easier to read than many lit mags (Paris Review, McSweeney’s sometimes), rather like Tin House. No glossy cover like Tin House, though. Also, the interior design is simpler than Tin House, which seems to like to change the page format from story to story.

In short, it looks quite appealing. I’m interested to read it.

This might be a good point to mention that although I subscribe to all these lit mags I read barely any of them. Sometimes I’ll dig into an issue of any one of them and get through most of it, especially Zoetrope, but often I’m overwhelmed by an issue’s arrival, the sheer mass of quality and challenging writing staring me in the eye. Which makes the name “swink” all the more appropriate, as the masthead says it is a noun (archaic) meaning “labor, toil.”