The modern alternative to the midlife crisis: Long Live Rock! concert

Fun event announcement from my friend Julie Long:

Some men buy themselves a sports car when they turn forty. My husband decided to give himself a rock-n-roll fantasy. His basement band Midlife Crisis is playing at the Byham Theater on his birthday, July 29th. And just to make sure they can fill the joint, they’ve turned it into a charity event for CAPA, Pittsburgh’s high school for the Creative and Performing Arts.

Find out all about it at Long Live Rock, where you can view the “Behind the Music” video, find out how to get tickets, etc.

I haven’t seen the band yet, but I’m told by reliable sources that they’re a good, rockin’ time. Hope to see you there, tomorrow night!

Time to bring back the two Martini lunch

I’ve never liked vermouth. When I ask for a Martini I always say, “Skip the vermouth.” So actually I don’t drink Martinis: I drink very cold gin or vodka, up, with a twist. Sometimes I even order just that: “I’d like ice-cold vodka, up, please. Lemon twist.”

But this distaste for vermouth nags at me, and I’ve been thinking lately that what I dislike is not vermouth in general but the quality of the vermouth I’m served. Maybe if I tried a higher end brand, I’d find I even enjoy the stuff.

And just as I’m coming to this conclusion, brandchannel.com publishes an article about a high-end, never advertised but widely appreciated vermouth, Noilly Prat:

Is the lack of awareness for Noilly Prat keeping employees awake in Marseillan or at the company’s headquarters in Paris?

“No, not at all,” says Aude Rocourt, Noilly Prat’s director, whose brief includes strategy, marketing and product development.

Pressed to clarify why it’s unimportant that the brand name is to some extent unfamiliar to the man in the street, Rocourt replies, “That’s absolutely right. Noilly Prat has never been mainstream. It is an haut-de-gamme product, a sophisticated and authentic taste for people — almost invariably over 35 years old — who are seeking to ‘trade up’ in terms of their drinking. It’s about 25 percent more expensive than our main rival — Martini — and targeted at the upmarket and refined drinking connoisseur.”

It’s like he’s talking just about me!

Now I have only to hope that the PA Liquor Control Board stocks this stuff.

Incidentally, Noilly Prat’s marketing strategy is interesting in its long-term approach, targeting the influencers — bartenders, chefs, caterers, hoteliers — who then bring the message to exactly the consumers to whom the vermouth is targeted.

Also interesting is that Noilly Prat’s “competition,” Martini, isn’t competition at all: they’re sister brands, aimed at different segments of the market. Martini itself barely needs to advertise, as it’s the only vermouth most of us have ever heard about.

(Link via Agenda.)

Harder than naming children

All the good ones — and many, many bad ones — are taken: Car companies have a terrible time selecting new car names.

General Motors found out last year that a forthcoming Buick sedan called LaCrosse, to be offered in Canada, was French-Canadian teenage slang for masturbation.

Volkswagen’s SUV, the Touareg, is not only unpronounceable for many Americans but was also named after a tribe of north African nomads that, it turns out, traded slaves well into the 20th century.

Twice in the last two years Ford Motor has named prototypes of new cars after ones from its storied history only to find out it didn’t own the names anymore. The supercar now called the GT was to be called the GT40 after the legendary car from the 1960s. And a new midsized sedan to go on sale next year was to revive the Futura nameplate. It still doesn’t have a new name.

(Link thanks to Agenda.)

Watching paint dry

Robert Benchley wrote, “Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.” My life is dedicated to proving this true. This summer there are many things I should be doing: building and expanding and updating websites for clients, reviewing and responding to manuscripts for Inkburns as well as sending contracts and payment to contributors, renovating my own business sites and operations, writing, and so on.

And so, I started a project to repaint the entire interior of my house.

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I’m a fabulous falling-off-a-horse-man

This week’s Onion A.V. Club has a tremendous interview with John Landis, director of many, many great things (including one of my most favorite movies, An American Werewolf in London). There are so many great bits that it’s hard to choose a proper one to excerpt, but here’s a delightful quote:

When we made The Blues Brothers, it was all Bee Gees and ABBA. Now, I get questions like, “How did you get Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin and James Brown to be in the movie?” And I have to tell them, “It’s because they were thrilled to get the job.” To give you an idea of how different it is now, when we did The Blues Brothers, MCA/Universal refused the soundtrack album, because they said no one but old black people would buy it. Then we went to what was called a “black label,” Atlantic, and they refused to put John Lee Hooker on the album! Fifteen years later, John had a platinum album.

Oh, also, and very importantly, this bit:

People don’t understand this: Ideas are important, but they’re not essential. What’s essential and important is the execution of the idea. Everyone has had the experience of seeing a movie and saying, “Hey! That was my idea!” Well, it doesn’t mean anything that you had that idea. There’s no such thing as an original concept. What’s original is the way you re-use ancient concepts.

Fore!

Stuck inside the office on a sunny summer Saturday when you’d rather be out on the links? Then you’ll probably hate reading about other people golfing while you’re working. Even so, I recommend you check out the Guardian’s live coverage of the British Open. Witty and bored British sports reporters watch the tournament on television from the newspaper’s offices and recount highlights, while also fielding reader email. A sampling from today, by the Guardian’s Rob Smyth:

10.55 The wind is screeching around like a demented old windbag whose alcopop-swigging boyfriend has just got in a fight on a Friday night in Rochester. But that doesn’t stop Nick Faldo putting from 20 feet at the fifth and celebrating with a ridiculous punch of the air. Bowl-cut bonzo Ken Brown, meanwhile, runs us through his gag repertoire.

11.00 Laura Davies has just said it’s Saturday. How we all wish it was, eh? Tiger Woods, like a judge battering his hammer-type thing furiously during an assault trial involving alcopop-swigging bruisers and their windbag-like partners that has got out of control, restores some order with par at the tenth. Meanwhile, my teeth still hurt.

Leaderboard

P Casey -5 (18)
T Levet -5 (18)

M Campbell -4 (31)
V Singh -4 (26)
S Lowery -4 (24)

11.10 “I see Rochester has got another mention in one of your reports,” says Daniel Hayes. “What do you think would happen to Ian Poulter if he were to walk down the high street in those trousers at closing time?” I think he’d be warmly greeted by all, almost like a returning messiah. There wouldn’t be a dry in the house. Or even the high street.

11.15 “How would you compare Faldo’s fist pumping to Tiger Tim’s?” asks David Tirebuck. Good question. I’d say Timmy’s is that of an erstwhile loser trying to convince himself he’s actually a winner; Faldo’s, with his leg half-cocked like a nervous poodle, was that of an old man trying to convince himself he’s actually 25. Maybe. Meanwhile, a number of chaps are going too long on their putts. Either they’re misjudging the wind, or there’s lots of pent-up testosterone lurking that they just can’t control.

NOTE: On the actual page new entries are posted at the top of the page, so you have to scroll from bottom to top to see it in order.

Renovated

WARNING: A self-absorbed home renovation project post follows.

I’ve mentioned My Arduous-Although-Small Bathroom Renovation Project, but I never told you how it wrapped up.

The contractors finished their various bits some weeks back, and I’ve enjoyed having a working shower (as opposed to a leaking shower) much more than I’d anticipated. The humid western PA summer weather has made evening bathing essential (which reminds me that someday I shall have to write about my old Cambridge roommate who showered three times daily in summer and spent many a day wandering the flat in only a towel….).

Anyway, today I finally finished painting the renovated bathroom, as part of painting the interior of the whole house. (Of which more in the next few days.) So, voila:
painted1TN.jpg

For pained memories and photos of the final stages, continue reading.

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Gist Street Cookout!

The annual, not-to-be-missed Gist Street Cookout is approaching:

It’s summer! The corn is over knee-high, and the basil plants have decided they’d like to stay for awhile. That means it’s time to fire up the grill for the annual cookout extravaganza.

SATURDAY, July 17th in the backyard of the studio. SATURDAY. This year, we’re featuring VERSE PRESS (www.versepress.org) and offering an amazing smorgasboard of readings from 5 (count em 5) of their finest poets: Peter Richards, Christian Hawkey, Lori Shine, Eric Baus, and Diane Wald. These
poets are making a heroic effort to get to Pittsburgh by car and plane just to read for you. There will be *many* books for sale.

Our cookouts feature some of the finest potluck dishes in the Pittsburgh region and perhaps the world. This means you, yes you, need to pull out the stops and bring something in a dish or something for the grill. Find Aunt Edna’s potato salad recipe or whip something up you’ve been wanting to try out on a LARGE crowd or buy a big ol piece of fish, chicken or beef. Someone needs to bring a watermelon. I’ve promised a watermelon to the poets. Also, bring things to drink. Last year we–tragically–ran out of beer.

305 Gist Street. James Simon’s sculpture studio on the first floor, backyard. Socializing and cook-outing begin at 7:30. Readings begin at 8:00. Homemade bread by Antoine. LOTS and LOTS of pesto made by the Gist Street staff. I’ll make a pie or two. $3 suggested donation. Gist Street raffle. Enormous quantities of food you’ll be talking about until next year about this time.

For bios of all the poets, coherent directions, and gossip: www.giststreet.org. 412-434-5629 if you’re lost.

Please, please heed the call to BYOB. It’s so desperately annoying to bring a bottle of wine to an event like this and have all the vino run out before one can have a second glass.

How to sell expensive water

Nice little case study on “anti-marketing marketing”: the brilliance of Darius Bikoff and Glaceau Smartwater.

Despite the success, despite the obvious attention to marketing principles such as design and differentiation, and despite even the national effort, Energy Brands seems to have retained the important sense of being an irreverent underdog: It has mastered the art of anti-marketing marketing.

The label on “Endurance” states: “professional athletes have not endorsed this product … excessive use will not lead you to have a desire to be like Mike, Magic or even athletes named Ned.” “Energy” takes a similar tack. “We rebut any offers by professional sports leagues to become ‘the official water’ of anything. Although this is a great alternative to sports drinks we do not believe in succumbing to commercialism. Unless, of course, there’s a lot of cash. Then we’ll talk.”