The prodigal sister is back. My little sister Laura (the one that travels, not the one that lives in Butler and does theatrical stuff) has been back in the US for a few months. She has gradually been filling in the gaps in her travel blog, Have You Heard From Laura? And it looks like she’s going to continue updating it perdically with her adventures from her home base in San Francisco. Check it out for info on her and the latest on Mr. Toast.
Monthly Archives: November 2004
I like cold beverage, yeah
My Brilliant Mistakes is currently mired in a home office cleanup project, which prevents our doing much beyond carrying bags of ancient receipts and ink- and tear-stained manuscripts to the curb.
For your entertainment in the meantime, I point you to the wonderous Pop vs. Soda Page.
Please know that I am a staunch “soda” supporter, due to living in Philadelphia for my early, formative years and having native EAst Coasters for parents. Also, I hate the sound of the word “pop.”
I’m never going to call a ginger ale a Coke, no matter how thirsty I am.
(Link courtesy of ESPN.com’s “The Hangover.”)
There are only small actors
A public service message for people who audition for community theater productions: If you should receive a call from the producer of a production, offering you a role different from that for which you had wished, please remember these points:
1. The producer is not enjoying this task. She (let’s say it’s a she) wishes very much to be delivering the news you had hoped for: i.e., that you were cast in the lead. She can’t give you that message. She sympathizes with your disappointment. She feels awful.
2. The producer is not being paid for any of her work in this production. None. She’s giving up a nice Monday evening to call you and many other soon-to-be-disappointed thespians. She’s going to spend a whole lot of time in the next few weeks on this production not being paid, forgoing income-generating and non-income-generating-but-enjoyable adventures to create a little bit of Theatre with which to entertain the community. She will often wonder why she’s doing so, no more than when she faces tasks like calling you.
3. There are other roles in the play, good and important roles, and you have been selected above all others to play one of these roles. Every role is critical to the success of the show. She really wants you to take this role, because it will make the play as good as it can be.
4. Turning down a role that you don’t want is understandable. Someone else might be available, someone who will be pleased to have a chance on the stage, and sometimes it’s better to let that other person shine.
5. Taking a role you didn’t expect to be offered is cool. You can learn from doing such a thing. This might be your chance to shine in new ways.
6. Telling the producer that you’ve been living your wished-for role for months and that her show will suck is not cool.
7. Subsequently calling the theater and telling the director that he blew it by not casting you, and that your dad will not be in the show either because you were not given the role you wanted, and then hanging up on him, is extra not cool.
But let’s assume for the moment that you’re leaning toward the cool side.
8. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything for moment. Take a breath. If you feel you need a moment to think, say you’ll call back. (Make sure you know which number to call.) Walk around outside, splash some water on your face, scream. Splash more water. Then call back and say yes, you’d be happy to take the part.
I promise you’ll be glad you did.
Life gets in the way
I have so many things to tell you about, but I’ve been too busy doing and then recovering that I haven’t had time to write.
In brief:
1. The 412 Creative Nonfiction Festival was great fun. (Here’s a little press on the event.) Both of my writing ventures — Inkburns and Fat Plum — shared a table at the Media Fair. I met many interesting and engaging people, spoke on a panel that, despite an early morning start, was lively and thoughtful, and generally enjoyed the hell out of the event. I am now utterly exhausted, still, after two days of recovery. And I have so many things to follow up on, people to contact and websites to update and blog entries to post.
2. Also, I mentioned previously in this space that I was open to new career options. “Ask and you shall receive,” they say, and so it has been for me. Except that I asked for a high-paying gig, and the emphasis for my new job is certainly not on “high-paying.” Then again, it does pay something, which is more than nothing, and it turns out that something is exactly fine for me. Details to come — stay tuned.
And now to bed. More soon.
The Faders — and you! — on the BBC
Want to be on British television? You can be — we got the hookup for you. The Faders, our favorite local alt-country-and-more hipsters, are about to have a close encounter with the BBC, and they want you to be there. Here’s the scoop from Jon in the band:
It’s no joke … we got a call from a BBC crew who are filming in Pittsburgh next Sunday. They need to shoot a scene with a band playing at a small club, and they saw on the web that we’re booked at the Quiet Storm that afternoon. I don’t know any details, except that whatever it is they’re filming stars the woman who played the wife in “Babe,” and our set has to include the folk song “Home Sweet Home.” (seriously)
So if you’d like to join us for what should be a fun and vaguely surreal show, here are the details:
The Faders
The Quiet Storm, Friendship
Sun Nov 21, 3 – 5pm
Cover charge $6
Due to prior commitments I have to miss this one, much to my sorrow. But that just leaves more camera time for you.
A bowl of barnuts, a pint of ale, and thou
I will start Sunday sitting on a panel, speaking as knowledgeably and entertainingly as possible. By the afternoon, however, I hope to be sitting in a bar somewhere in Pittsburgh, watching TV and cheering loudly. The question is, which bar should it be?
Recommendations for great places in town to watch the Steelers are requested. Please leave your suggestions in the comments.
And if you’d like to cheer with me, please say so — the more, the merrier.
Our top story
The folks at the Guardian Unlimited are experimenting with a new use of blogs:
From today, we’re experimenting with the idea of a “newsdesk update” Newsblog entry. Every weekday morning, one of our editors will tell you some of the main stories we’re planning to cover during the day, let you in on the editorial discussions that go on behind the scenes in our newsroom, and give you an opportunity to offer your comments and suggestions. And today it falls to me to get the ball rolling
Winning’s a habit, not only a dream
Recently, Dan Marino interviewed Ben Roethlisberger and gave the rookie a hard time for not knowing the “Steelers Fight Song,” from back in the 70s. Which I thought was funny — until I realized I didn’t remember it myself.
Oh, I remembered there was one, to the tune of the “Pennsylvania Polka.” It was inescapable in the Super Bowl years. But over time the lyrics and melody had fallen right out of my memory.
Thank goodness for this Interweb of ours: Here are two versions of the lyrics to the “Steeler Fight Song” (from the 1970s and 1995, with appropriate player names for the times). And here’s a site with a piano version of the tune and a bonus alternative “Pittsburgh Steelers Fight Song” from 1960.
Just keep that Steelers machinery humming.
UPDATE: So as soon as I posted this, I started thinking, “Hey, we need an updated version of this for the current team. Like, ‘Cowher and all his men are all on the team… Plaxico and Hines Ward are here for the show, and so is Randle El (El-Yeah!)…’” But then I came to my senses, because the minute we start singing Super Bowl songs and making up dances and looking at flights for Jacksonville in February, that’s the minute we bring down every kind of jinx on ourselves. So, my fellow Steelers fans, no new lyrics! Resist! (At least until the postseason.)
Slightly related: If you were looking for a way to give me a thoughtful gift and benefit charity at the same time, Hines Ward’s used cleats are up for auction this week.
Drink of the week: Caipiroska
Early this week, for no particular reason:
Ingredients: 3.0 slices Lime
3.0 tsp Sugar
2.0 oz. Vodka
Directions: Crush the slice of lime in a glass.
Add sugar and Finlandia Vodka and fill the glass with crushed ice. (From the Finlandia Web Site.)
What am I bid?
The Paris Review Foundation is holding an auction to raise money for itself. The auction runs from November 9 at 10:00 A.M., EST, through November 17.
Among the offerings are a bunch of unique, mostly writerly or readerly goodies — signed books and such. There are also events, some more literary (a wine-tasting with Jay McInerney) than others (lunch for four at the Playboy Mansion).
One item caught my eye: “[a] copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas shot with a bullet by Hunter S. Thompson.” This delightful specimen is not featured in the online preview, but it’s listed first in the Paris Review email newsletter. Once the auction opens tomorrow we will, one assumes, get to see a photo and more detailed description of the thing.
Oh, how I’d like to own it. But I predict the bidding will be well beyond my discretionary spending allowance (approx. $13) within seconds.
Disappointed though I am, this gets me thinking. Signed books are so commonplace; a distinctively modified book is much more exciting. I don’t know why I didn’t realize this before. Among the treasures in my library are a copy of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius with a custom, crayoned doodle by Dave Eggers. I’m also fond of the bird-like doodle on the dust cover of Lawrence Krauser’s Lemon.
Of course, signatures and doodles are easier to apply at book stores. And it’s hard to imagine anyone orchestrating a public event that combined Mr. Thompson with a loaded firearm. (Please insert your best “loaded” joke here.)
Still and all, a bullet hole in a book is pretty damned distinctive. And quick.
When I have a book published and do signings, I’ll need a creative means of personalizing them. And I do know how to shoot a gun, you know.
UPDATE: As of 9:45pm 11/14, the leading bid on the Hunter S. Thompson bullet-pierced first edition is $1000. Makes a great gift.